This World Is Boldly Going Nowhere

The Heritage Motor Centre

I was awoken from my slumber early yesterday by a phone call. A strange enough event on its own (I normally get texts or emails) but even stranger at about 09:30 when I was still snoozing away.

The call turned out to be from my friend Neil who was planning a drive down the Heritage Motor Centre, down at Gaydon, and he wondered if I would care to go along with him.

I had been planning to go myself for some time, but never quite managed to get around to doing it. There was always some last-minute bout of laziness that had to be done before I could get on with anything else. Still, having nothing much to do yesterday, I decided I would go and see what the place was like.

It was quite a nice drive down from Telford to Gaydon - motorway pretty much all the way down, it took a little over an hour and a half to get there, though there was a slight snag when the sat nav got confused and took us into a Jaguar garage. Hmmm.

The sheer number of vehicles there, and the age and condition of some of the exhibits is amazing: there is a Wolseley tri-car from the 1890’s, various examples of early Austin 11hp Town Carriages, Rover P5 Saloons, an Aston Martin V12 Vanquish, a Rolls Royce Phantom, the JCB DieselMax… the list just goes on and on.

On top of the exhibits themselves, there are also other features around the museum. There is a cinema showing interviews, documentaries and even original promotion material for some of the vehicles on display. And for those who don’t mind a bit more physical activity, there is an off-road 4×4 track and a go-cart race track.

The museum also hosts some special events: there was a Mini Club event on the day we visited, although there was so much else in the musuem, we didn’t get chance to go outside and see the cars on display.

Additionally, there were also several Daleks wandering round, raising money for charity. Not the usual sort of work you’d expect Daleks to be doing, but there we go!

My friend Neil was informed by one of the Daleks that his shirt was in violation of the Health & Safety act, and I nearly got exterminated after being mistaken for an incarnation of Dr Who (something to do with the coat, apparently).

All in all, an excellent day out - and well worth a visit. I will be going back to see the stuff I either missed or didn’t get chance to do the first time.

Biofuel and the food crisis

The Grauniad brings us this gem: the production of biofuels have driven world food prices up by 75% according to a secret report from the World Bank which they have managed to get hold of.

Biofuels have forced global food prices up by 75% - far more than previously estimated - according to a confidential World Bank report obtained by the Guardian.

Well shit. I’d never have worked that out if it wasn’t for that secret report. The dumb fucks in government are so paranoid by “anthropogenic climate change” that they have instituted a policy which means that 10% of all arable land (land used to grow crops for food) will only grow crops used to make bio-diesel. Its kind of logical (to me, at least) that if there is less food available for consumption, the price will go up. So in an effort to try and stop man-made climate change (which there is no concrete evidence to support is even happening) the world’s main governments are starving citizens. Does wonders for world aid too: “You know what, starving African orphans? We don’t have any food to give you because all this food is just so we can meet our bio-diesel targets.”

The damning unpublished assessment is based on the most detailed analysis of the crisis so far, carried out by an internationally-respected economist at global financial body. [sic]

I wonder which “internationally-respected economist at global financial body [sic]” was responsible for this analysis. I doubt we’ll get to find out any time soon, but it would certainly be interesting to put a name to this report.

Senior development sources believe the report, completed in April, has not been published to avoid embarrassing President George Bush.

No, I suspect that this report has been kept secret in order to keep climate change loonies happy. After all, if they found out that their wonderful bio-fuels had caused around 100M people world wide to slip below the poverty line, they would probably start demanding ever more far-reaching reforms in policy.

As if spunking £100bn of our money up the wall on a fucking field of windmills wasn’t enough. Oh, and we’ll all have to contribute £260 per year to pay for it. Seems like so much waste when an American teenager built a fusion reactor in his parents basement at a cost of a little over $3000 - £1513.24 at current exchange rates.

Sharia law whore

Yet again the people responsible for running and governing the country have amazed me with their sheer idiocy.

The top judge in England and Wales, Lord Chief Justice Lord Philips, has said that Sharia law (the set of principles by which Muslims are supposed to live their lives) should be used in the UK. This follows on from Dr Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, making himself look a total arse earlier in the year by saying much the same thing.

The man is mad. Mad as a fucking hatter. The idea that there could be two separate legal systems is just so barmy I’m surprised that Mr Philips hasn’t hacked his own head off for coming up with it. If Sharia law was used to govern Musim affairs, it would not be scrutinised by any public body (at least not one that was going to report any wrongdoing) and would disadvantage a great swathe of the population who would not be entitled to representation at a fair trial.

Its simple enough, Mr Philips: I have to assume that you are an educated individual (being the most senior judge in the land and all), so please try to understand this: IF THEY WANT TO COME AND LIVE IN THIS COUNTRY, THEY MUST ABIDE BY THE LEGAL SYSTEM OF THIS COUNTRY. THERE CAN BE NO EXCEPTIONS.

Got that?

Good.

Snouts in troughs

It comes as no surprise. To me anyway. Our esteemed overseers in Westminster have decided that they are most definately worth the £24,000 a year second home grant.

At a time when it is increasingly difficult to get mortgages, and almost impossible for young couples to get on the property ladder at all, that obscene sack of shit that calls itself Parliament is using our tax money to pay for their homes. Just in case anyone missed the point there: they are using your money to pay for their houses.

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, Culture Secretary Andy Burnham, Welsh Secretary Paul Murphy, housing minister Caroline Flint and Mr Brown’s Commons aides Ian Austin and Angela Smith were among those who voted to keep their ’snouts in the trough’.

They were joined by Ulster Secretary Shaun Woodward whose wife, Camilla Sainsbury, has a reported personal fortune of £100million.

£100M in a personal fortune, and they still want to bleed as much as they can from the taxpayer. As my old man used to say “Where there’s big money, there’s big fiddles”, and it seems he was damn right. This very vote is a grotesque affront to the public, and demonstrates with complete clarity the contempt with which MPs treat and view the voting electorate.

Instead of a plan for external audits on expenses claims covering up to a quarter of MPs every year, each member will face internal financial checks just once every four years.

Meanwhile, MPs backed a £6million package to improve their constituency offices, more than doubling the cost of their offices outside Westminster from £2.8million.

Inner London MPs will get a £7,500 annual allowance – up from £2,916 – while MPs representing outer London constituencies will still be able to claim the full Additional Costs Allowance, instead of it being halved as proposed.

Lets look at that top part again: instead of getting audited externally once every year, they will be checked by their peers every four years. That system won’t be open to abuse at all will it? I mean MPs have such a level of integrity that they would never, ever dream of taking back-hand payments or overlooking certain issues to keep themselves on the gravy train.

They have also given themselves a further £3.2M to “improve their constituency offices” - whatever that means. Syphoning money off via front-companies into their own off-shore bank accounts I shouldn’t wonder. The sheer scale of abuse and waste that these people are responsible for is mind-buggering: it’s no surprise then that almost everyone in the country hates these greedy little bastards.

If any one is interested, the Additional Costs Allowance will allow an MP to claim the following:

• Utility bills - heat, light, water, council tax
• Phone and internet charges
• Kitchen equipment and furniture
• Maintenance & service agreements - necessary repairs, decoration and cleaning
• Insurance - buildings and contents
• Security measures - door/window locks, intruder alarms, external security lighting
• TV licence, parking permit, satellite TV
• Hotel expenses either in London or constituency. Overnight accommodation only
• Food - reasonable additional costs away from main home
• Rent on one additional home in London or constituency

The entire of Parliament is one bumper book of waste. MPs keep chirping on about keeping the cost of the public sector down - they would do well to cut their own ludicrous expenses!

Still, at least this story gives us a bit of joviality from The Daily Mash:

BLOOD-SOAKED REVOLUTION TO START AT NOON

BRITAIN’S long-awaited bloody revolution will begin at noon today, after MPs voted to keep their £24,000 second home allowance.

Despite repeated warnings that a vote for the generous expenses package would lead to their certain deaths, 146 Labour MPs and 24 Tories backed the measure which will allow them to buy whatever they want with your money.

Regional organisers say the first priority will be to put together a series of medium-sized lynch mobs to hunt down local MPs and drag them to the town square where they will be pelted with thousands of £1 coins.

One group in the North East plans to tie its MP to a chair and then take the 42-inch plasma screen television he bought with public money and drop it on his head from a large crane.

Meanwhile those cabinet ministers, already on a basic salary of £138,000, who voted for the second home allowance, are expected to be paraded on the back of a cart to Regent’s Park Zoo and then thrown to the polar bears.

Bill McKay, a regional organiser from Lincolnshire, said: “In the midst of rising household bills, looming recession and job losses, the only reasonable response to this kind of thing is ravenous bears.”

He added: “Of course, once we’ve despatched the MPs we will then need to form a provisional government held to account by some sort of democratically elected chamber.

“It will be a demanding job, involving lots of time away from home, so a large, unaccountable expenses package will probably be necessary.

“Personally, I’d quite like a flat in Bayswater with granite worktops and a power shower.”

Now onto the naming and shaming. These are the traitors (including David Wright, a local MP in my town) who voted to give themselves more of our money:

Labour:

• Nick Ainger (Carmarthen West & Pembrokeshire South)
• Graham Allen (Nottingham North)
• David Anderson (Blaydon)
• Janet Anderson (Rossendale & Darwen)
• Ian Austin (Dudley North)
• Adrian Bailey (West Bromwich West)
• Gordon Banks (Ochil & Perthshire South)
• Kevin Barron (Rother Valley)
• Margaret Beckett (Derby South)
• Clive Betts (Sheffield Attercliffe)
• Liz Blackman (Erewash)
• Roberta Blackman-Woods (Durham, City of)
• Bob Blizzard (Waveney)
• David Borrow (Ribble South (South Ribble)
• Nick Brown (Newcastle upon Tyne East & Wallsend)
• Richard Burden (Birmingham Northfield)
• Colin Burgon (Elmet), Andy Burnham (Leigh)
• Stephen Byers (Tyneside North)
• Alan Campbell (Tynemouth)
• Ronnie Campbell (Blyth Valley)
• Ben Chapman (Wirral South)
• David Chaytor (Bury North)
• Tom Clarke (Coatbridge
• Chryston & Bellshill)
• David Clelland (Tyne Bridge)
• Ann Clwyd (Cynon Valley)
• Ann Coffey (Stockport)
• Harry Cohen (Leyton & Wanstead)
• Michael Connarty (Linlithgow & Falkirk East)
• Rosie Cooper (Lancashire West)
• Ann Cryer (Keighley)
• John Cummings (Easington)
• Jim Cunningham (Coventry South)
• Tony Cunningham (Workington
• Wayne David (Caerphilly)
• Ian Davidson (Glasgow South West)
• Janet Dean (Burton)
• Frank Dobson (Holborn & St Pancras)
• Brian Donohoe (Ayrshire Central)
• Jim Dowd (Lewisham West)
• Angela Eagle (Wallasey)
• Maria Eagle (Liverpool Garston)
• Jeff Ennis (Barnsley East & Mexborough)
• Bill Etherington (Sunderland North)
• Caroline Flint (Don Valley)
• Paul Flynn (Newport West)
• Michael Foster (Worcester)
• Michael Jabez Foster (Hastings & Rye)
• Mike Gapes (Ilford South)
• Dr Ian Gibson (Norwich North)
• Linda Gilroy (Plymouth Sutton)
• Nia Griffith (Llanelli)
• Andrew Gwynne (Denton & Reddish)
• Mike Hall (Weaver Vale)
• David Hamilton (Midlothian)
• Dai Havard (Merthyr Tydfil & Rhymney)
• Stephen Hesford (Wirral West)
• Sharon Hodgson (Gateshead East & Washington West)
• Jimmy Hood (Lanark & Hamilton East)
• George Howarth (Knowsley North & Sefton East)
• Beverley Hughes (Stretford & Urmston)
• Joan Humble (Blackpool North & Fleetwood)
• Dr Brian Iddon (Bolton South East)
• Eric Illsley (Barnsley Central)
• Adam Ingram (East Kilbride, Strathaven & Lesmahagow)
• Brian Jenkins (Tamworth)
• Diana Johnson (Hull North)
• Kevan Jones (Durham North)
• Martyn Jones (Clwyd South)
• Tessa Jowell (Dulwich & West Norwood)
• Eric Joyce (Falkirk)
• Alan Keen (Feltham & Heston)
• David Kidney (Stafford)
• Peter Kilfoyle (Liverpool Walton)
• Bob Laxton (Derby North)
• Tom Levitt (High Peak)
• Ivan Lewis (Bury South)
• Tony Lloyd (Manchester Central)
• Ian Lucas (Wrexham)
• Tommy McAvoy (Rutherglen & Hamilton West)
• Stephen McCabe (Birmingham Hall Green)
• Christine McCafferty (Calder Valley)
• Kerry McCarthy (Bristol East)
• Sarah McCarthy-Fry (Portsmouth North)
• Siobhain McDonagh (Mitcham & Morden)
• James McGovern (Dundee West)
• Anne McGuire (Stirling)
• Shona McIsaac (Cleethorpes
• Rosemary McKenna (Cumbernauld, Kilsyth & Kirkintilloch East)
• Tony McNulty (Harrow East)
• Denis MacShane (Rotherham)
• Khalid Mahmood (Birmingham Perry Barr
• Rob Marris (Wolverhampton South West)
• Gordon Marsden (Blackpool South)
• Alan Meale (Mansfield)
• Gillian Merron (Lincoln)
• Andrew Miller (Ellesmere Port & Neston)
• Madeleine Moon (Bridgend)
• Jessica Morden (Newport East)
• Elliot Morley (Scunthorpe)
• George Mudie (Leeds East)
• Denis Murphy (Wansbeck)
• Paul Murphy (Torfaen)
• Mike O’Brien (Warwickshire North)
• Eddie O’Hara (Knowsley South)
• Sandra Osborne (Ayr, Carrick & Cumnock)
• James Plaskitt (Warwick & Leamington)
• Bridget Prentice (Lewisham East)
• Gordon Prentice (Pendle)
• Gwyn Prosser (Dover)
• Ken Purchase (Wolverhampton North East)
• Nick Raynsford (Greenwich & Woolwich)
• John Robertson (Glasgow North West)
• Terry Rooney (Bradford North)
• Chris Ruane (Vale of Clwyd)
• Christine Russell (Chester, City of)
• Alison Seabeck (Plymouth Devonport)
• Barry Sheerman (Huddersfield)
• Jimmy Sheridan (Paisley & Renfrewshire North)
• Angela C Smith (Sheffield Hillsborough)
• Angela E Smith (Basildon), Jacqui Smith (Redditch),
• Anne Snelgrove (Swindon South
• John Spellar (Warley)
• Phyllis Starkey (Milton Keynes South West)
• Gavin Strang (Edinburgh East), Gisela Stuart (Birmingham Edgbaston)
• Gerry Sutcliffe (Bradford South)
• Mark Tami (Alyn & Deeside)
• Gareth Thomas (Harrow West)
• Emily Thornberry (Islington South & Finsbury)
• Don Touhig (Islwyn)
• Derek Twigg (Halton)
• Kitty Ussher (Burnley)
• Keith Vaz (Leicester East)
• Lynda Waltho (Stourbridge)
• Claire Ward (Watford)
• Tom Watson (West Bromwich East)
• Dave Watts (St Helens North)
• Phil Wilson (Sedgefield)
• Rosie Winterton (Doncaster Central)
• Shaun Woodward (St Helens South)
• Phil Woolas (Oldham East & Saddleworth)
• David Wright (Telford)
• Iain Wright (Hartlepool)
• Derek Wyatt (Sittingbourne & Sheppey)

Conservative:

• David Amess (Southend West)
• James Arbuthnot (Hampshire North East)
• Henry Bellingham (Norfolk North West)
• Brian Binley (Northampton South)
• Sir John Butterfill (Bournemouth West)
• Christopher Chope (Christchurch)
• John Greenway (Ryedale)
• Gerald Howarth (Aldershot)
• Bernard Jenkin (Essex North)
• Julie Kirkbride (Bromsgrove)
• Eleanor Laing (Epping Forest)
• Anne McIntosh (Vale of York)
• Andrew Mackay (Bracknell)
• Andrew Rosindell (Romford)
• Hugo Swire (Devon East)
• Sir Peter Tapsell (Louth & Horncastle)
• Angela Watkinson (Upminster)
• Ann Widdecombe (Maidstone & The Weald)
• David Wilshire (Spelthorne)
• Lady Ann Winterton (Congleton),
• Sir Nicholas Winterton (Macclesfield)

Independent:

• Dai Davies (Blaenau Gwent)
• Robert Wareing (Liverpool West Derby)

Every one of these arseholes should be ashamed of themselves. That is before a baying mob of taxpayers hungry for blood soundly whipped them through the streets before stringing them up from the nearest lamppost to rot.

Local by-election

By-elections used to be quite rare things. Only one or two per term might crop up. We have had about three already, and there is at least one more on the way - and its in my ward!

This is the ward where I missed out earlier last year. The election has come about because the incumbent Consweravtive has resigned. There are four candidates for the gleeful voters to choose from, and they are:

• Nigel Arthur Dugmore - Conswervative
• Raymond Knight - UKIP
• Phil Norton - Liebour
• Graham Williamson - Independent

I haven’t seen much from any of the candidates so far. I spoke to Raymond several days ago, and he said he was standing as a paper candidate. Graham Williamson (or someone on his behalf) has been delivering letters around the ward: I had one this afternoon. I can safely say that he won’t be getting my vote on account of the fact that he has a typewritten letter that is so poorly punctuated I thought I was staring a picture of some barbed wire before I realised there were sentences in there. The Conswervatives won’t be getting my vote because I have no idea what their local policies are meant to be, and Liebour won’t be getting my vote because I flatly refuse to support that venal bunch of cunts in any way whatsoever.

More news on this when the results are in, I guess!

Do the mash… the government data mash